I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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