I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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