He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My hand turned me down
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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