Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
