My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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