You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
