Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
