Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
