she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
