she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
