The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
