Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
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My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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