I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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