Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
