i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
