Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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