My hand turned me down
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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