I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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