I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sober January is a disaster.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
