dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
