Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
