Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it glows. i had to have it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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