its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
