there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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