Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize