ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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