there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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