which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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