and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
