Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
