whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
