There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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