i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
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My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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