im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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