Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
