my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
