You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
