He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
