remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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