i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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