Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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