do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Success! We fucked roommates!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize