watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
