i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
