Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
