Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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