I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
