Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize