oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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