I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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