He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize