My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
