This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
