yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
