Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
