oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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