I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
