I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
