don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
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They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
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the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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