He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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