In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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