I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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