i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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