he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
