the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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