There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
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Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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