Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
